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The Artful Tango

What we all must know....

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The Artful Tango

What we all must know....

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is the Fox Buzzword for the 2008 election. And the word is....MACHINE. Ma-chine.

According to Fox, this word defines the Clintons.

Special thanks to Michelle Malkin for opening the sleepy eyes of America to the stupefying fact that the Clinton campaign is a ma-chine.

Not that Michelle has taken on the cause of America's dire neglect of the grave danger of the Clintons and their machine all by herself. Fox has a whole grand host of personalities and pundits to sound the alarm at all hours of broadcasting.

As we now know, no one else but the Clintons takes great care and consideration in their words and actions during a campaign. Apparently, all the candidates shoot straight from the hip and express an audible impromptu train of thought at all times during campaign season. It's any wonder that any of them really need to hire an ad agency or a speechwriter. To me that would seem to discombobulate the refreshing natural flow of their 100% pure authenticity.

I referred in an earlier post, to a guest ( who is so well known and respected that we've forgotten her name and will have to look it up)on BOR that made piercing cries about something she called THE CLINTON WAR MACHINE. And while this was a phrase she used to figuratively describe Hillary's campaign, I'm a bit surprised that she's not at all disturbed by the ACTUAL BUSH WAR MACHINE. The one that costs billions of dollars and kills and maims both Americans and non-Americans, indiscriminately. Perhaps this guest doesn't quite consider the Bush administration to be a MACHINE. Maybe she feels they are just regular Joe's participating in an inpromptu, completely authentic act of defense. Who knows? I guess it's up to each one of us to choose our danger.

What we really learned from all of this is that Obama and McCain wake up each and every morning not quite knowing what they want to do or say on the campaign trail. Because their campaigns are NOT machines. They waste alot of money on campaign staff and research. Because really, what would be the purpose if you're not going to be a LEAN MEAN ELECTABLE MACHINE?

Hillary on the other hand, puts all that cash TO WORK (and hopefully will do the same for the nation). She goes to the ends of the earth to plan every word, action, wardrobe selection and as as we now know, even her body functions to be a desperate act of voter solicitation. Who ever heard of that before in American politics? Lord knows that no candidate, before or since, has ever been spotted in the midwest dressed up as Farmer Joe or has ever kissed a baby. Bill and Hillary all by themselves have reinvented to campaign wheel!

So let us all allow Fox to advise and warn us about this MACHINE. Because we all KNOW NOTHING if we don't know 'tis far better to have someone who makes decisions about our lives and money completely off the cuff and without all that annoying forethought and planning.

Moving on...I had a tremendous burst of inspiration this week. I was watching BOR as I often do and once again, his guest was the very incoherent Dennis Miller. (yeah....I'm smart enough to get, but there's nothing logical to "get".)Bill, being a self styled ignoramus, is still under the spell of the notion that his audience just intuitively understands that when they are confronted with Dennis Miller, they are in the presence of 10,000 jiggawatts of intellectual greatness. People of below or average intelligence, he feels, just have a crippling challenge to follow along. Maybe he's right. But anyhoo, soon afterward, the morning gang of Fox and Friends offered a merry-making appearance from Mancow. Mancow shared with us his theories about the NY recruiting station bombing and it's relation to the movie 12 Monkeys. He was almost childlike in his glee and pride in himself as he noted that NO ONE ELSE is saying it. It was as if Mancow was just recently introduced to the world of Original Thought. How pleased we all were for him as he discovered his very own theory regarding an act of terrorism and a Hollywood thriller starring Brad Pitt. In the middle of all these feel-good sensations...it hit me. The idea was as jarring as the image of Hillary Clinton's red suit! Why not have an insightful and brilliant segment with both Dennis Miller AND Mancow? What could be better to clear the cobwebs of the American mindset and rouse the average man from this daily stupor. The stupor that makes it impossible for us to follow Dennis Miller's logic and even more impossible to spot pop culture clues in news stories. My suggestion is to allow Dennis to speak in mysterious and highly intellectual tongues and Mancow would then translate them into really bad English so we can all understand them. And then their regular guest could be an extraordinarily inebriated Christopher Hitchens and Mancow would do speed translations for the two of the them.
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