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The Artful Tango

Neal Gabler: Man on the Fringe

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The Artful Tango

Neal Gabler: Man on the Fringe

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Original date 2/20/06

Thank God for Bill O. It's a very good thing that he's looking out for us. We wouldn't know about the dangers of Neal Gabler's opinions because we Americans may very well be too ignorant to know scary when we hear it. It's a wonder to Bill how Neal is permitted to speak on the Fox News Channel. For our protection, Bill informed the show's host, Eric Burns, that he "shouldn't have him on". Neal recklessly pointed out that the Bush/Cheney tagteam pull a boner or a terrorist threat out of their asses every time their popularity drags to a dangerous low, like a convenient little jack in the box to take our minds off the real news.

Since Americans from the four corners of the country say the same thing, nearly every morning, on Washington Journal, one must wonder why Bill is so incredulous that Neal, like most everyone else, can say such a thing without consequence. I enjoy Neal Gabler pretty well but the truth is, this idea wasn't exactly a fresh revelation from Neal's diabolical mind. It was pretty much a national observation. Ask any American who carefully watches that news ticker on the bottom whenever there is something eerily trivial pervading the screen for three days. The silent question is usually "What's the real news?".


Bill is shocked and alarmed that Neal could make his opinions known without the 3 other panelists in the room hurling him to the floor and doing a Super Slam on his ass. The next time Neal Gabler opens his mouth and brings forth criticism of the President, well right then and there Cal Thomas should hold him down while Jane Hall knocks him silly with her hard right hook. Why, Bill wonders, is Neal Gabler out of control, giving his opinion, willy nilly, on national television? Perhaps, just because this is what he's actually paid to do? Or maybe I'm missing the premise of Fox News Watch and it's assortment of panelists. I mean this is FoxNews. And they can easily just round out the panel with four people that agree with each other, and more importantly, agree with Bill. But, what fun would that really be?

In addition, Bill also cited, for our safety, at least two other people who don't share his opinion and as well, shouldn't be popular or allowed to speak in public. Those being George Clooney, (Whose movies are well watched but let us not be fooled, says Bill, he's not popular with "the folks").

And Alec Baldwin, who has no business blogging or rather, enjoying the new favorite national pastime. I say, if I'm free to blog then so is Alec Baldwin, anytime of the day or night, after 6 shots of vodka and a deep fried turkey, wearing nothing but a pair of underwear two sizes too small, as long as he pays his internet bill.



Everyone who possesses a public platform through which to express their views and opinions would do well to only express views which Bill deems right and reasonable or else he will out them as the dangerous radical that they are.

Pardon me, but when I think of dangerous radicals, the names Neal Gabler or Alec Baldwin just fail to cross my mind.

By the way, Alec Baldwin's blog is some pretty good reading,too. Check it out.

Oh yeah and the meanness. Bill feels that the left is TOO mean. The right is never mean. Ann Coulter? Sweet as a cupcake. Michelle Malkin, too. Bill himself is always charming. Dick Cheney is a well mannered man, just ask Patrick Leahy. But at least Ann and Dick don't whine. They dish it out and they take it, which I admire. Michelle, on the other hand gets airtime on Bill's show to boohoo about her hate mail after her tirades and writes a whole book devoted to left leaning meanies. Nothing could be more pathetic.

And Bill wonders why Neal Gabler is more palatable as a television personality? Well it's because he doesn't yammer as much as some people. I think Bill's still raw because Neal suggested there was no war on christmas and turned out to be right. Would someone please wish Bill a Merry Christmas already?
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